My camera and I have a love / hate relationship. I show my camera nothing but love and adoration while my camera continues to hate me. It’s pretty straight forward. Our roles are clear. However, I’m not sure how it all started.
I suspect it may have something to do with the day I plunked down more money than I care to confide here on this camera. That was the day that I was fondling my new camera proudly while walking out of the store and then proceeded to drop it on the sidewalk. No doubt an omen of what was to come and, sure enough, my camera has tortured me ever since.
Our relationship has not improved with age
Our relationship, this camera and I, has not improved with age. I will take it gleefully to important life events — Christmas concerts, my kid’s sporting events, family birthday parties — and it will decide to act up and misbehave.
My camera starts out acting nice, leading me on by giving me one really good shot. This is when I remember why I spent more money than I care to confide here on this camera. Then, just as quickly as it gave me that one good shot, my camera will suddenly turn on me.
Torture devices are varied
My camera’s torture devices are varied, such as when it decides without any warning that its battery is dead. And this usually occurs right as we are about to sing Happy Birthday, or when my son is going to score a goal. Other times my camera changes things up a bit, claiming its “memory card is full” even though I cleared it out before leaving the house.
Yet these hardships are nothing compared to the pictures it takes of me. This is when the camera really decides to get vicious. Now, if you’ve known me for a few years, you will see the evidence of my camera’s intolerable treatment: Closed eyes, red eyes, eyes squinting, mouth open, no smile, too much smile, gums showing, hair in eyes, hair sticking up — you name it, my camera has captured it all (and laughed at me the whole time).
At some point I will have had enough. That is the day that I will go and spend more money than I care to confide here on a new camera. I’m looking forward to that day. After all, show me a photogenic person and I will show you a nice and very well-behaved camera.
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